The Los Angeles Criminal Law Blog

Woman Fends Off Knife-Wielding iPod Thief, Keeps the Flow

Jadakiss once stated, in a 50 Cent tune, "if it wasn't for the flow, I'd probably have to double back, bubble crack."

Fiddy himself once warned that "confusion occurs coming up in the cold world."

Perhaps mindful of these life lessons and warnings, and fearful of a loss of "flow," a 27-year-old woman defended her iPod from a knife wielding thief, reports the Los Angeles Times. After all, what is a young woman on the rise supposed to do without the wisdom passed on from our elders?

The anonymous anti-victim, who to some might serve as a symbol of all Apple-addicted Americans, braved death to keep her iPod. Her attacker grabbed her by the neck and warned her that if she screamed, a 4 to 5 inch knife would be used to cut her throat.

She didn't scream. She whopped that trick. The victim wrestled the iPod from her assailant's hands and then fled. The unidentified attacker has been described as a Latina or Filipina woman in her mid-20s. She is about 5'8", 170 to 180 pounds, has acne scars, and was sporting a ponytail, black jacket, black pants, and gray kicks.

For those with information and who are inclined to assist the police, tips can be submitted to (810) 548-3987. Most people, other than Cam'ron, would agree that it's okay to snitch in this case.

We can't blame the failed thief. After all, gangsta rap probably made her do it. However, we should warn her of the possible consequences, other than the sheer embarrassment of her failure to rob an unarmed victim.

Had she been successful, she would have faced between two and five years in prison for robbery (defined as taking of property by force).

For those that attempt but fail to commit a crime, they generally are sentenced to half of what they would have served if they were better at their chosen profession. That means our attempted iPod robber will face a sentence of up to two and a half years for her attempt to steal the flow.

Rap credos and the guidance of the flow aside, we wouldn't advise taking the same route as our heroine in this tale. If someone has a knife to your throat, it's probably best to hand it over. After all, you can probably buy another one for $30 on craigslist.

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